To the Moon and Back

by Talya Firedancer

[She's taking her time making up the reasons
to justify all the hurt inside]

Relena brushes her fingers over a strip of silky blue material, pressing the ribbon to her cheek, a confused, thoughtful look in her eyes.

Again and again she replays Heero's cutting monotone, 'I will kill you,' and continues to build up an elaborate network of excuses for his
continued hostility.

"I know too much. No, I am a threat to his mission," she whispers, threading the ribbon through her fingers.

Her expression firms and she stands.

"He has his reasons -- but I will have him."

[Guess she knows from the smiles and the look in their eyes
Everyone's got a theory about the bitter one
they're saying 'Mamma never loved her much'
and 'Daddy never keeps in touch'
that's why she shies away from human affection.]

She makes her way down the corridor, surrounded by nods and curtsies at every turn. The murmur of 'Lady Relena' -- 'Relena Darlian' -- 'lady' -- 'Miss Relena' follows her at every turn, and behind it comes a wake of silence. And just beyond earshot -- so they think -- the silence is crushed by whispers. Stealthy at first, then louder. Relena strains to keep the smile firmly fixed to her face. "The Vice Minister's spoiled daughter... "

Relena, exiting the shuttle while her father is swamped by the press and eager hangers-on. Unnoticed, she quietly slips away. Her father continues to face the cameras, oblivious to his daughter's disappearance.

Relena, standing alone on the beach, her long blonde hair driven by the wind, blue eyes wide and troubled. "Heero! Heero, what are you waiting for? Come kill me!"

[But somewhere in a private place
she packs her bags for outer space]

Relena throws some clothing onto the bed, angrily. Her eyes are red from crying. She drags a suitcase from the closet. She ties her braids back with a thin blue ribbon.

Mrs. Darlian tries to stop her as she runs out the door, but she tears away furiously, her face fixed in a stormy Look.

[And now she's waiting for the right
kind of pilot to come]

Relena's car pulls up in front of a very wealthy, influential boarding school. Her eyes scan restlessly through the crowd of uniformed, chattering students, instantly lighting on the solitary figure set apart from his peers.

She jumps out of the car, with an effort forcing her steps into a sedate unrushed pattern. Best not to appear too eager.

"Heero -- Heero, I've finally found you."

The young Wing Gundam pilot turns to her, cobalt eyes almost blank, unfocused before they narrow and she knows her presence has been registered.

"Can we talk? Please?"

[And she'll say to him]

"Will you be my first?"

He blinks, then his eyes widen. She rejoices for a moment, knowing she must've broken through that hard shell.

"Please... Heero, I want it to be you."

If possible, his eyes widen even more and Relena begins to wonder uncomfortably what she's said -- Heero looks stunned, almost as if -- if he weren't Heero -- he would cry.

"Your... first?"

She offers him a hesitant smile. "Yes, my first kiss."

A sense of awareness returns to the blank, mechanical mask that has fallen over his features. "Oh." If she didn't know better, she'd say he sounded... relieved?

A faint blush colors her cheeks as Heero leans forward, a puzzled frown seated between his eyebrows and he lifts his hand to her face, the merest breath of a touch.

Relena closes her eyes.

[I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be...
if you'll be my baby]

Heero presses his lips to hers so softly at first, and Relena's heart contracts at the thought that he might be shy. Then he kisses harder, his mouth eating at her with bruising force and her eyes fly open. He's gasping, his hands gripping at her shoulders, pushing her down onto the bench.

She makes a muffled noise of protest and he breaks away, breath coming in short bursts that lap over her open mouth, his eyes a little wild.

Relena frowns and lifts a hand to smooth his face. "Heero... are you all right?"

His eyes refocus, centering on her face instead of beyond. It seems almost as if he isn't here with her but somewhere else, or with someone else. "Yes," he replies very quietly.

She runs the back of her fingers over the smooth perfect skin of his face. This wasn't exactly as she'd envisioned, but still... but still...

"Heero, would you be my sweetheart?"

[She can't remember a time when she felt needed]

The frown re-formed between his eyebrows again, but he bent his head to kiss once more. Her heart felt bursting to full as she upturned her face to meet his firm insistent lips, wandering over her face almost aimlessly. He'd kissed her again. He'd accepted.

But her eyes flew open again as his weight shifted from the bench to drape over her body, the feel of his lean frame pressing down on her from hip to the line of her thighs.

"No... Heero, stop!" she protested, shocked, as his hand moved from her shoulder down further and his pelvis shifted restlessly against her. "Stop!!"

He pulled away, cobalt eyes drowning in a sea of confusion as his hand encountered the swell of her breast. He looked so puzzled and lost... then he jerked away as if she'd burned him.

Relena's cheeks were on fire. She'd never had anyone touch her that way before. What made her squirm so uncomfortably, though, was that she wasn't sure she actually wanted him to stop. It was nice to have someone want... need her for something.

[if love was red then she was colorblind]

"Do you love me, Heero?"

Heero's eyes jerk up to meet hers, still troubled, still far away. She ached to see him like that -- who, or what, was he thinking about?

The mission. Surely... surely, his existence as a soldier.


"I don't know," he uttered, tone barely audible, not meeting her eyes.

Do I love him?

Surely... surely, I do... why else would I follow him so? I need him.

Relena unlaced the ribbon from her hair, letting the wheat-blonde length tumble around her shoulders. Silently, she took his hand and deposited the ribbon in his open palm, closing the fingers around it.

"Please... Heero, think about me."

She turned and left him.

[All her friends say they've been tried for treason
and crimes that were never defined]

Relena sits at her desk, picturing Heero's face in her mind. She glances up sharply when she catches the phrase "those Gundam pilots."

"Such delinquents," one girl shudders. "I'd hate to meet one. They should all be shot."

"I'm so glad they managed to get one -- that Deathscythe," another girl adds, making a face.

"How appalling! They should all be caught; they deserve the same fate," a third girl agrees.

Relena stands up, her face stormy.

"Lady Relena," they murmur, falling back respectfully.

"They are brave soldiers, and they fight for what they believe!" Relena lashes out. "They are honorable; they protect the closest to their hearts."

[She's saying, "Love is like a barren place,
and reaching out for human faith
is like a journey I just don't have a map for]

Relena pushes herself to her feet, brushing strands of hair out of her eyes. Here. Heero was here. The smile lifts her lips the same as it tugs her heart upwards.

"Heero!" she greets him exuberantly.

His face is grim and her smile fades a bit as he continues to stand
there, unmoving.

He takes the step that separates them abruptly and Relena lifts her face expectantly, the smile fanning back into brilliance.

He reaches for her hand and gladness swells as she lifts it to meet his.

He turns her palm upward and deposits a colored strip of silk, the of his eyes, in her open palm, closing her fingers around it.

The tears start up as he turns away with the same stiffly mechanical movements, walking away without a word.

Relena crushes the ribbon in her fist, murmuring his name to the wind.

[So baby's gonna take a dive and
push the shift to overdrive
Send a signal that she's hanging all her hopes on the stars]

Relena boards the shuttle and finds her seat quickly, taking deep breaths to quell the excitement. Her mother doesn't yet know that she's stolen away, that the underage ruler of the Sank kingdom has defied protocol -- and her adopted mother's will -- to take this shuttle to the colonies.

To find Heero.

She lifts her hand, eyes almost dreamily contemplating the blue ribbon interlaced in her fingers. He's pushing her away because he doesn't want her to get too close; it's so clear now. All she has to do is let him know that she loves him, and won't let him push her away...

[what a pleasant dream]

Relena closes her eyes as the shuttle prepares for blastoff, letting her mind drift back to the day Heero kissed her. It was rougher than she expected -- she though he would be more shy and awkward, soldier that he was. But the look of utter confusion when he'd touched her breast...

As if he hadn't expected it to be there.

Relena sighed happily and continued to daydream as the shuttle lifted off. She had decided, when she saw Heero, that she wanted to give him more than a kiss.

"Heero... I love you... " she whispered, pressing the blue ribbon between her fingers and the glass, eyes picking out the brightest star to make her wish.

[I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be...
if you'll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we belong]

Relena carries her bag through the moon spaceport, looking around with bright eyes. An hour's stopover and she'll be on her way to Colony L-7, where she's certain she has located Heero.

She dips into her pocket to rub her thumb almost superstitiously over the shuttle tickets -- she bought a round-trip for herself, and booked a return flight for Heero.

Surely... he loves her. Surely, he must.

He will return with her to Sank kingdom, and they can be happy.

[So would you be my baby?]

She turned and he was there, his blue eyes a startling beacon against the thick dark hair falling in his face.

His face was calm and unsurprised.

Slowly Relena lifts the ribbon, a silent offering. Her heart.