by Talya Firedancer

"That's another girl gone the way of the Colonel, boss," Havoc mourned, rolling the window down on the jitney long enough to spit his toothpick by the wayside. "Last time I ever let a girl join me on my lunch hour, Alchemist's cross."

Ed's head lolled on his hand, thumping his forehead lightly against the car window, and he sighed for the fourth time since Havoc's diatribe had begun. "Is that so," he said with less than the normal amount of enthusiasm.

"I swear, that's the fifth girl he's stolen from me–"

"–Since I got back to Central, yeah, I've been listening," Ed said loudly, drowning him out.

Wounded blue eyes blinked at him in the half-moon of the rearview mirror.

Ah, crap. Ed scrabbled for conversational anecdotes and found himself sadly lacking. Nothing that Havoc would be interested in, at any rate – no juicy office gossip or anything more hydrated than the dry testament of age-old stacks of parchment. "Why don't, uh, we go to lunch instead?" he offered.

Havoc's blue eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Boss, are you suggesting a pity date?" His foot tromped down on the brake, bringing the car to a halt just in time before the tires touched the crosswalk at the stop sign. He shifted it into park, eyes unblinking on Ed's.

Ed snapped his mouth shut over the words yes, so shut the fuck up about it already, and gave Havoc a sickly smile instead. "I wouldn't be so presumptuous," he said with a shrug. "Besides, you like girls."

Ed watched with fascination as Havoc's eyes shifted from suspicion to something more considering. "Hold the phone, boss. When did I ever say I liked 'em exclusively? Besides...I should know better to try and date girls while I'm working for Colonel Sex Alchemist." Havoc heaved up out of his seat, half-twisting in the space between to face Ed with an intent, damned serious look that should have seemed out of place on Jean Havoc's amiable face.

"OH, so HE'S Colonel SEX Alchemist, HUH–" Ed began, and was shut up by the placement of gloved white fingers on his lips.

"If you mean it, boss, I'll accept."

Ed's fingers twitched against Havoc's gloved hand. "Wouldn't say it unless I mean it," Ed said, sounding sullen even to his own ears.

"Then if I asked to kiss you, it wouldn't be a pity–" Havoc's blue eyes widened as Ed batted his hand away and lunged across the distance.

The kiss was sweet enough until Havoc's mouth softened under surprise and his lips parted. Ed was sensitive to the thrumming of the engine under the backs of his thighs as Havoc's tongue pried its way into his mouth and gloved fingers tugged at his hair, forcing him to lift or risk losing strands of it.

Reflectively Ed's tongue swabbed out the crevices of his own mouth as Havoc settled into the front seat again at the urging honks chaining back to five cars behind them.

"Sooo...how 'bout pity sex?" Havoc's blue eyes were merry as they met his in the rearview mirror.

Ed folded his arms, metal over flesh. "Bite me," he invited, trying not to sound too pleased. He still felt the weight of Jean Havoc's hand threading through his hair, tipping him into the sway of the kiss.

"Glad to, boss," Havoc replied, and steered the car out into traffic.